HayU Blog

With the social media addiction trial making headlines, I have been reflecting on my own decision to break up with social media last year.

Deleting social media apps had been on my mind for several years. In 2024, I read Catherine Price's How to Break Up With Your Phone and Cal Newport's Digital Minimalism, and both helped me inch closer to getting rid of Instagram. I implemented a 15 minute time limit per day, turned off my notifications and even took a hiatus for up to a month at a time, but I just couldn’t delete the app. I was afraid of losing connection and being unknown. 

While I was a passive social media user, posting only about once a month, my brain had been rewired to experience life through the lens of the app. How would I caption this moment? How could I share this on socials? Once I realized I didn't want my life and my experiences with my young kids defined by that question, I was done. I finally deleted Instagram a year ago. 

My phone usage minus social media isn’t perfect. 

My mind still wants to scroll. Instead of Instagram, I linger on news websites too long or browse my favorite shops. The itch didn't disappear… it just found new places to scratch. 

The real losses have been the ones I didn't see coming. I miss out on events simply because I don't know about them. Last spring, I missed out on a favorite author’s book tour in Los Angeles and a concert to see a nostalgic millennial band. I know I would’ve gotten tickets to both if I were still on Instagram, but I found out too late. 

And then there's the quieter kind of missing out. I don't get life updates from friends unless I see them in person or reach out directly. I recently had brunch with a group of girlfriends I see a handful of times per year. Three of them already knew about one friend's sister’s pregnancy, had seen photos from a trip to the Philippines, and had been trading DMs about a show they were watching together. I felt out of the loop, and it was my own doing.

Being offline has forced me to be more intentional about direct communication. Texting friends out of the blue. Sharing photos of my kids with friends and asking what they’ve been up to just because. The connection doesn't have to disappear when you leave the app, but you have to go get it yourself. 

I’m grateful that I don’t worry so much about what acquaintances are up to or whether my life looks good from the outside. That quiet feeling of peace is worth more than any algorithm ever gave me.

Courtney Wittner, M.Ed, ET/P 

Senior Director, Hayutin Education